1. Sharing
is caring
In our circle of friends the concept of mine and yours doesn’t really exist, especially when it comes to food and beverages. It is absolutely normal for us to offer each other of whatever we hold in our hands. Usually they don’t even ask me if I want it, they just put snacks straight into my hands or sometimes into my mouth. By now I am so used to it that I find it strange how in my culture, people never seem to share half as much. It’s a pity, because I realized how much more comfortable and taken care of I began to feel with my Korean friends through the process of sharing. I will never forget my first hand-fed moment (aside from when I was a baby and not yet capable to eat on my own) which was when my friend Jeehyun wrapped some rice up in Gim for me and put the roll into my mouth. Although I felt like a baby bird at first, I felt incredibly warm and taken care of.
2. It’s okay to speak your mind…
Koreans are far from holding back their opinions. Yet, contrary to what I’ve read on other Korea-related blogs, I never experienced Koreans pointing out my bad skin or my weigth in a negative way. I found that they are more outspoken about their own flaws. They seem to be generally more expressive than we are. If something pleasant they will cheer, if something pisses them off they will cuss and if something will make them sad they will fully express it as well. Whereas in Europe I feel we are constantly trying to hide behind a mask to not let anybody see we even have emotions. Especially when it comes to people it is refreshing to always know how people feel about you. Even if it’s not as you hoped at first.
3. …especially with compliments
Another part of the Korean honesty is that a Korean friend will tell you when they like something about you (especiallyabout your appearance). The sense of Irony I felt upon my friend Jiwon with her long silky black hair telling me that she would love to have my hair soon vanished when she was dead serious and almost upset when I tried to laugh off her compliment. “No really, I mean it”. Korean compliments are honest and come directly from their mind, and aim on values like appearance, abilities and personality. I feel like in a culture where we laugh off compliments because we can’t take them seriously it has reached a point where we became too sparse with them. Which I find is a great pity. Doesn’t it feel great to have somebody point otu your positive aspects? “Your face got smaller” “You look pretty in that picture” “You are really good with pronunciation” “You sing really well”
4. How to take care of somebody else
I feel like the Korean culture has a strong sense of community. To be honest I’ve never felt as taken care of in a circle of friends as much as I do now with my Korean/European mixed clique. There is a constant sense of taking care of each other between us, whether it’s sharing food/beverages or maginfying each other’s strengths. I remember a concert we watched when I forgot my jacket and almost all of them panicked and asked whether I was freezing, before wrapping me up in a blanket. When I told my Oppa Jinhwan that I hadn’t eaten when he asked me what I had for dinner, I received a lecture on how important dinner was and how unhealthy it is to skip meals. Speaking of ‘Oppa’, I found that Korean honorifics really reflect on my personal relationships. Somehow my Eonnies, Oppas and Dongsaengs truly feel like siblings to me, probably because we take care of each other just as if they were.
5. The importance of good food
Koreans seem to feel strongly about food. To them food is not only the essence of life energy, it is also important for friendship, love and overall happiness. One of my Dongsaengs once said, “Nothing brings happiness like good food and drinks you share with friends”. After meeting my Korean friensd I soon learned to celebrate food in good company. It changed from a necessity into an important social aspect. Almost every week we have a picnic where we bring homecooked meals, drinks and snacks which we share while talking and listening to music.. Most of those dishes are usually Asian so they are rather healthy and balanced (aside from my Dongsaengs amazing nutella pancakes). Of course the other person always comes first, which usually results in everybody preparing something for the next person which again results in a warm and fuzzy feeling of community.
In our circle of friends the concept of mine and yours doesn’t really exist, especially when it comes to food and beverages. It is absolutely normal for us to offer each other of whatever we hold in our hands. Usually they don’t even ask me if I want it, they just put snacks straight into my hands or sometimes into my mouth. By now I am so used to it that I find it strange how in my culture, people never seem to share half as much. It’s a pity, because I realized how much more comfortable and taken care of I began to feel with my Korean friends through the process of sharing. I will never forget my first hand-fed moment (aside from when I was a baby and not yet capable to eat on my own) which was when my friend Jeehyun wrapped some rice up in Gim for me and put the roll into my mouth. Although I felt like a baby bird at first, I felt incredibly warm and taken care of.
2. It’s okay to speak your mind…
Koreans are far from holding back their opinions. Yet, contrary to what I’ve read on other Korea-related blogs, I never experienced Koreans pointing out my bad skin or my weigth in a negative way. I found that they are more outspoken about their own flaws. They seem to be generally more expressive than we are. If something pleasant they will cheer, if something pisses them off they will cuss and if something will make them sad they will fully express it as well. Whereas in Europe I feel we are constantly trying to hide behind a mask to not let anybody see we even have emotions. Especially when it comes to people it is refreshing to always know how people feel about you. Even if it’s not as you hoped at first.
3. …especially with compliments
Another part of the Korean honesty is that a Korean friend will tell you when they like something about you (especiallyabout your appearance). The sense of Irony I felt upon my friend Jiwon with her long silky black hair telling me that she would love to have my hair soon vanished when she was dead serious and almost upset when I tried to laugh off her compliment. “No really, I mean it”. Korean compliments are honest and come directly from their mind, and aim on values like appearance, abilities and personality. I feel like in a culture where we laugh off compliments because we can’t take them seriously it has reached a point where we became too sparse with them. Which I find is a great pity. Doesn’t it feel great to have somebody point otu your positive aspects? “Your face got smaller” “You look pretty in that picture” “You are really good with pronunciation” “You sing really well”
4. How to take care of somebody else
I feel like the Korean culture has a strong sense of community. To be honest I’ve never felt as taken care of in a circle of friends as much as I do now with my Korean/European mixed clique. There is a constant sense of taking care of each other between us, whether it’s sharing food/beverages or maginfying each other’s strengths. I remember a concert we watched when I forgot my jacket and almost all of them panicked and asked whether I was freezing, before wrapping me up in a blanket. When I told my Oppa Jinhwan that I hadn’t eaten when he asked me what I had for dinner, I received a lecture on how important dinner was and how unhealthy it is to skip meals. Speaking of ‘Oppa’, I found that Korean honorifics really reflect on my personal relationships. Somehow my Eonnies, Oppas and Dongsaengs truly feel like siblings to me, probably because we take care of each other just as if they were.
5. The importance of good food
Koreans seem to feel strongly about food. To them food is not only the essence of life energy, it is also important for friendship, love and overall happiness. One of my Dongsaengs once said, “Nothing brings happiness like good food and drinks you share with friends”. After meeting my Korean friensd I soon learned to celebrate food in good company. It changed from a necessity into an important social aspect. Almost every week we have a picnic where we bring homecooked meals, drinks and snacks which we share while talking and listening to music.. Most of those dishes are usually Asian so they are rather healthy and balanced (aside from my Dongsaengs amazing nutella pancakes). Of course the other person always comes first, which usually results in everybody preparing something for the next person which again results in a warm and fuzzy feeling of community.
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