5# The best things in life - Going to the beach

1# Pushing Daisies - Travel the world

This is one for all the travellers amongst us! Don't you just love visiting & discovering new places? Get home a bag of souvenirs for your beloved once & yourself? Putting up the picturs on tumblr, facebook or your blog? Telling everyone how it was & what you experience, who you met? If you want to be more specific, write down single places you would like to visit. Maybe you always wanted to visit Europe or Australia, or even a single city like LA? I personally want to visit as many places as possible :) Last september I got to cross out Paris which has been on my list for two years. And soon it will hopefully be San Francisco, San Diego or New York :) To get you inspired here's a link to a page that suggests many amazing places to visit :) Good luck! I hope you get to visit every single one you want! ;)

11# Life's little Instructions - Create a bucket list

What is a bucket list? Well, a bucket list is a list of things you want to do before you die! The use of this is to get clear about what you would like to achieve in life :) Think about what would be if tomorrow was your last day? What did you always wanted to do or have! You get great clarity about your life goals & it doesn't cost anything! To give you some inspirations I started a new series called "Pushing daisies" which gives you ideas for your bucket list :) I'll search some on the web & give you some of my bucket list! I have one on my own & it's pretty cool to cross things out once they happened! So get started & create your lifetime wishlist :)

4# The best things in life - Having a good conversation

10# Life's little Instructions - Never underestimate the power of love

I know that this is a topic people argue about all of the time. Does real love exist? Well, it probably did but it's dead now! Of course LOVE exists! Of course not - bollocks! There are so many opinions about Love. It hences from what the person experienced. I guess it's like with religions. But see, when asking a person "Does true love exist" no matter what they say they probably think of romantic love first. But - love does consist of so much. Look at the eyes of a mother when she watches her child playing, fond of this miracle of life. Look into the eyes of a man when he talks to his father, admiring his rolemodel looking up to him. Look into the eyes of someone who sits by a fountain enjoying the sun, smiling about how beautiful the moment is. Look at friends who meet up for a cup of coffee. Love is actually everywhere. It surrounds us day by day. We all love something, don't we? I personally love my family, my dog, my friends, my home. I love the smell of rain on a warm summers day. I love to walk across snow that noone has touched yet. Life is full of miracles & things to love. What do you love? Think about it & imagine it as vividly as possible & then continue reading. Did you smile? Well you probably did :) Because when we think of things we love it makes us HAPPY. Thinking about more things you love rather than things you hate, will lead you to a more peaceful & happier state. It is a great way of replacing negative thoughts. Because one positive thoughts is 10 times more powerful than a negative one. So the next time something made you angry, stop & think about someone or something you really love. Think about your best friend or your partner. Just stop & think about how wonderful these people are and how great it is to have them in your life. And with that, how great your life actually is.:)

3# The best things in life - Having a nap

Facts about napping:
A six year Greek Study found out that napping is a great way to prevent heart disease! Also during sleep you collect some energies for the further day! :)It relaxes you & is also healthy! So go for it & have a cosy nap! :)

2# The best things in life - Your favourite TV Show

9# Life's little instructions - Communicate

A lack of communication leads to misconceptions. Especially when people talk behind other peoples backs. Not always in a mean way, but they discuss things. Now this is a really important topic because most of the time we believe we know something, but don't. Instead of asking the person we tend to communicate behind their backs. There are different reasons why we do this, and all of us do. There is none of you & me neither who haven't talked behind a persons back. The problem with this is, that we build up beliefs about a person & recreate the picture we have of them. The bestfriend becomes a "backstabber". The partner becomes "Impossible to live with". And so on. But how do we stop ourselves from doing this?

Communicate! It is that simple!

Now there are many excuses to NOT communicate. We don't want to hurt people or are afraid to get hurt, others are to proud to tell the other person they are mad at. We wouldn't just walk up the person who made a mistake, THEY have to see it. It's theri mistake right? But how is the person supposed to know when nobody tells them? But not in a mean way, but in a very factual kind way. Advise your friend like if you weren't hurt. Unfortunately the most bottle up until they finally snap. Instead of walking just up to the other person and talking to them as unemotionally as possible. Now here are some tips on successful communication:

• Don't freak out - try to be as factual as possible
• Try to see the other persons point of view
• Don't blame anybody, think before you speak
• Ask rather than assuming
• Stay calm & respectful
• Listen attentively
• keep focused on your point, don't give in unless you are totally convinced differently, people tend to lure you into their beliefs
• Accept other opinions
• Keep the overview over the subject & work your way into a positive relaxed atmosphere of  honest communication

Of course not everyone will be ready to communicate with you on this level. But keep calm, don't freak out with them, listen & try to be as friendly as possible. But let them know what you think and feel. If you truly want a solution never shout or blame. People will react on you as you talk to them. You wouldn't be nice and calm to someone who suddenly freaks out on you would you? It needs a bit of training but can be really successful. Peace, an understanding attitude & Wisdom are always more successful than any shouting, ranting or rumor in the world. :)

The Dog Days are Over!

I was told that some people who weren't even meant felt very irritated about the thing I posted. So I am rewriting it to make clearer what was meant:

I was going through a phase which wasn't very nice. I guess the change & everything that happened in my little big life scared me a little. My best friend was moving abroad which left me devistated & also because I was so miserable, the contact to people who were close to me broke a little. I didn't really want anybody to see me like that. Hey, I'm only human after all.

On top of it all my former best friend who I thought could never hurt me was miserable too. Her ego played tricks on her & she thought I wanted to do her wrong, so she spread a little rumour. The mutual friends believed it. So they all turned away from me, wouldn't return my mails nor my calss. I met one at the street, he didn't even say hi to me. Also she herself didn't talk to me properly. First I thought she was just being crabby about something little, but then I heard it from one of our friends.

After a huge fight, discussion, etc, we finally worked things out. I believe best friends shouldn't stab each others backs. It's better to face the person although it's hard. If it's hard to face a person I guess you deep inside know all of your silly beliefs are wrong. If you're really mad & have the facts you tell the person right away. If it's one thing I learned then to be direct about yourself. And especially not writing a blog out of anger, it all comes back to you from people who weren't even meant!

It's 2011 people. It's the year of renewing. I guess we all go through our own little transistions but things like that go by :) "The Dog Days Are Over" because I found my way through the darkness of misery back to my positive state. I am happy to, although it was hard at times, leave back old emotions & beliefs & find back to my true self. Being renewed & happier than before.

"You're weird"

Current Favourite song :)

After being a little distresed the last two weeks, I finally found back to my strength! Yesterday I discovered this song back again for myself! It fit's so perfectly atm so I'm listening to it 24/7! :)

8# Life's little instructions - Wear something that makes you feel good

Because nothing is more important than for you to feel good to get through the day! If you wear a weird fitting top that you have to adjust all the time, which never stays in plays, or is to tigh around places so it begins to hurt, you can be 99 % you're not going to feel very great about yourself. Only buy something when you feel absolutely comfortable wearing it, because when you radiate this uncomfortable feeling you have inside of you, the sensations of the day won't be very promising. Also it happens that you buy something which is not really you just to fit in. Remember. Only buy & wear clothes you feel pretty, comofortable inside & which fit your personality. If you hate orange, don't buy an orange shirt just because it's the latest trend. Experiment a little, get out of your comfort zone once in a while, but don't stay out there :)

7 # Life's little instructions - Drink Tea

Not only tea is a healthy option to coffee or hot chocolate it can also be a good friend in bad times. The comforting warmth of the fruity, black or herbal liquid inside you can really make you feel better when you're heaving a tough time or are sad. Of course you can also drink tea when you're happy, for example as iced tea! Tea is an amazing drink to start & end your day with! So get a cup, do something for your body & your sould and most of all - be happy :)

6# Life's little instructions - Be proud of yourself & love who you are

Never tell yourself you are not good enough! This is a terrible affirmation! How can you ever be truly happy when you keep telling yourself these terrible things? Would you tell your best friend "Stupid, you're not good enough anyways, why would your crush take you?" or "Yeah that wasn't okay you're an idiot" Well if you do you are a terrible friend, but I suppose you wouldn't ;) You would tell your friend things like "Don't worry, be yourself, if he doesn't like you the way you are, he doesn't deserve you anyway" & "You made a mistake, but life goes on, I love you still" and THIS is the way you should treat yourself! :) Why? Because you always & will always hang around with yourself, you'll never get rid of who you are. So why making war with who you are when it's so much easier to get along & befriend with the person you are? Being mean to yourself just causes trouble which is exactly what happens when you say these kind of things. "I'm too fat" "I'm not good enough" or my favourite "I hate myself" Why would you hate on yourself? The next time you did something good tell yourself "Well done, I'm proud of myself" or if you walk past a mirror tell yourself what looks good on you instead of hating on something that looks bad. Smile when you look into the mirror & send yourself a kiss. You are great just the way you are! Stop trying to be someone else. Be YOU & love YOURSELF :)

Let's learn more about... the need for approval & how to handle it

The need for approval is a FALSE BELIEF that says: "You must have love and apporval from each & everyone in your life" 

 If you have this belief, you often feel a very strong insecurity about what you do, wear, say in relation to what others might think about it.  You NEED the feedback of others to be secure enough to know if what you do is good or bad. These people are very insecure, try to do everything right all the time, do everything to please others, Have a keen sense of obligation and act on this sense in all aspects of their life, Suffer from "paralysis of analysis'' and fret so much over what the possible consequences of a decision will be that they barely make decisions or take “stands”.

Now as every mental dis-Ease it appears to different degrees. I myself have no problem with making a point & standing in for my beliefs but suffer from “paralysis of analysis” and the need of feedback. I won’t judge any of you because I know myself so much how helpless you feel when you are in the middle of than swirl of anxiety, thoughts & fears. But there is a way to overcome this because as every mental dis-Ease this one also has it’s roots. So the first step is to make a journey back. People who need to approve often have a Low self-esteem due to: (1) lack of positive feedback as a child, (2) lack of sense of worth due to no reinforcement as a child, (3) sense of rejection and emotional abandonment as a child. They felt they were "misfits'' as children, "different,'' not in the "social swing'' of things.

Step 1: Identify and refute the irrational belief that the approval of others is necessary in order for you to feel good about yourself.

Step 2: Identify your fear of: rejection, neglect, abandonment, disapproval, and look for the origins of these fears. Identify rational means to desensitize yourself to these fears.

Step 3: Develop an inventory of the positive attributes you possess. Ask others to assist you in making the list all-inclusive.

Step 4: Develop a list of positive affirmation self-talk scripts you can use to affirm yourself on a regular basis.

Step 5: Reflect on your feelings about conflict events. Do not avoid conflict situations, but use positive assertiveness to maintain your position and protect your rights. Emphasize how you feel about the issue by using "I'' statements.

Step 6: Answer the question: What do I gain if I am agreeable and pleasing to everyone in my life and never take a "stand'' on how I really feel about things?

Step 7: Develop a list of issues important in your life, those you never let others know about for fear of their reaction to them. Develop a plan of action by which you systematically let others know your beliefs concerning these issues.

Step 8: If you find you are still working out of a need for approval, return to Step 1 and begin again.

(Source: www.livestrong.com)

If you manage to let go the NEED you will feel free & things will come to you easily, so just stop trying so hard & relax :)

A letter to the person that you wish you could be

Dear furutre me,
I'm writing you to let you know I wish I could be you already. I bet you are way wiser, more confident & better at life than I am atm. You went through all this already. Through all the struggle with yourself that built your current you. I wish I knew the answers you know already. I wish I was done with school, already studying or even living in London like you do maybe :) I bet it's really awesome. I'm stuck here with all the things you already did. I wish I knew what you did right now. I would love to know if you are having a boyfriend right now. Is he cute? And if you & your crush became a couple when you were 19? So many questions. And I know exactly what you would say. Enjoy this age because you'll never be it again. Yeah. You sound like my mum :) I hope you are alright. Can't wait to be you in a few years.

Sincerely, Me.

LLI - Count your blessings & be grateful

Now this is something really powerful! Counting your blessings & being grateful for what you have, creates a feeling of joy, happiness & abundance. Why? Because if you are happy with what you have, you are at peace & therefore satisfied. Being satisfied is a great feeling because now you don't strive for the things you DON'T have anymore & aren't focused on the lack of things. You can apply this to every area of your life to gain on happiness. Instead of yearning & whining you don't have this bag & you don't have that cellphone. Be aware of what you already have. Look behind the things. By that I mean if you look at something, one thing is 100% sure, that this thing once was a thought. Even if it's just the wall you're staring at. Somebody had the idea to build it. Someone wanted to make it happen. You can thank that person. Because if this person or even people didn't have thoughts, you wouldn't sit on your chair, lie in your bed or put stuff into your MiuMiu bag.
Or the people you know. How often do you tell your friends you are happy to have them? You should do more often :) Or even your parents. They do a lot for you. They go to work, buy you food & even if they don't always understand you, they do those things for you. Keep the house clean a.s.o. You can make a list, or simply sit there & think about whats good about your life & be thankful for you have these things. There is always something! Even if it's just your breath! You couldn't exist without another one. You can start with that one. "I am grateful that I can breathe" :)